Capture Your Grief 2016 Day 21: Relationships

CYG2016Day21

#captureyourgrief Day 21: Relationships. Very early on in this grief journey I remember saying to our therapist “I am worried that Eric will ‘heal’ before me and ‘get back to life’ and I will be left all alone in this”. Grief and depression are incredibly lonely. It causes you to think things you never thought you’d think, and feel things you never thought you’d feel. When we lost R&A it was just shy of 16 months after we got married. 16 months after vowing to be together through the best and worst of times. Losing our daughters was honestly 100 times worse than the ‘worst of times ‘ we ever imagined. There were times (and still are today) when it would have been much easier to lock myself alone in a room than it was to confide in someone else about my intense sadness. There were days (and probably still are) where it would have been easier for Eric to tell me to stop moping and feeling bad for myself rather than listening to me say the same ‘it’s not fair’ sentiment over and over, but he didn’t…. Our relationship has truly withstood the true test of pain. Of two people who grieve in different ways, but continue to stand a united front and support one another. Who understand that life isn’t the way we had dreamed it would always be… I am lucky to have a partner who has allowed me to be me through all of this-to grieve how I need to, without expecting more than I was able to give in any moment along the way. A partner who continues to honor and remember our sweet girls with me. A partner who truly is the best daddy to all 3 of his girls…

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