Capture Your Grief 2017 Day 2: Rise + Shine Mourning Ritual

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#Captureyourgrief Day 2: Rise + Shine Mourning Ritual. It has been a heavy day. Heavy for our nation, for those present during such a horrifying attack, for the parents who lost a child and for the children who lost a parent…. for all the people who only now will be starting their own grief journey… it has made it hard to focus on this day’s topic of creating a new ‘mourning ritual’ but it has made me think about a few things. I feel like it has been so frequent over the past several years that we see social media and the news flooded with ‘pray for X’ as those who feel helpless in the face of tragedy search to do or say something meaningful.

What are we praying for? What would be the ‘ideal outcome’ in light of such pain? It seems like it’s a mourning ritual we, as a society, have when we just don’t know what to do to actually make a change. It has been making me think of this quote that I heard shortly after the girls died; “The fact that our heart yearns for something Earth can’t provide is proof that Heaven must be our home.”

One day I am going to have to find a way to explain to Chloe and Ronan about the ugliness and hate that lives in our world. I will have to find the words to explain to my children that good does not always win. That people die painfully and unnecessarily sometimes. That no where is truly ‘safe’. I will have to tell them not to be fearful of living life, while secretly I am terrified of letting them go anywhere. I will have to find a way to tell them about ‘bad guys’ without killing the naive and beautiful innocence of being a child….

Rylie, Avary and Baby A will never know such hate, fear, ugliness or pain. Each of these babies were held every single moment of their lives in my womb, or in their mother and father’s arms… they only ever knew love, and even as they died they knew nothing but comfort and warmth. There is a little bit of comfort in that. That they will only ever know beauty and safety. It gives me hope for when we one day join them in Heaven. That Heaven is our true home. That one day my whole family will be together in a place of warmth, comfort, beauty and safety. That one day we will truly be in a place where we do not have to find a way to explain to our children how people can be so cruel and ugly. One day…. But today I hold each person lost or injured, and each family member or friend suffering in my thoughts and prayers.

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