Capture Your Grief 2017 Day 3: Meaningful Mantra

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#captureyourgrief 2017 Day 3: Meaningful Mantra. For me, reminding myself that I would choose the pain all over again just for the short time I was able to be Rylie and Avary’s Mama helps me on my hard days…. if I could, would I change how it all ended? Of course. If I could, would I give anything to have them here in my arms again? Absolutely. If I could, would I erase the time I carried them in my womb and then in my arms in order to erase the pain, flashbacks and grief I will always have? Never. Every single tear and painful memory will always be worth the joy and privilege I had for those months that I carried those sweet girls and made plans for our future. Somehow when I remind myself that the pain was worth it, it makes the burden more tolerable. I may grieve for the rest of my time on earth- but if that is the price I must pay for the footprints left on my heart, then so be it. I will always choose you my girls. Always. #twinangelbees

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