Capture Your Grief 2017 Day 5: Soul Therapy


#captureyourgrief 2017 Day 5: Soul Therapy. Today’s topic is about being kind to yourself. About finding happiness and peace in the small things. After Rylie and Avary died I had a really difficult time with this idea. They died because my body failed. I had one job- to care for my babies, and I failed them. I felt I needed to suffer for that, punish myself for that, no matter how many times my doctor said I did nothing wrong…

What I have learned over the past 3 years is that I am suffering. Every single day of my life is filled with ‘what ifs’ and ‘if only’ thoughts that can easily eat away at one’s soul…. I have these thoughts no matter whether I am ‘punishing’ myself or not… this is just my reality. And so knowing this, I try to be find small ways of self-care to remind myself that I am worthy. That I am a good mother to all of my children, heavenly and earth bound. That being kind to myself and forgiving myself is a huge part of my healing. And so while I still struggle to do this some days, I am trying…. to love myself, to take care of myself, to find a little time for me, and to lay my head back, close my eyes, breathe deep, and say ‘I am okay today’….

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